Sayori finding the happiness
by Varkray778
Summary: Sayori gets rid of the depression. Monika closes the club and vanishes. Sayori sees that every of her friend is unhappy and hiding something and that something connected with their past. While finding Monika Sayori finds out that someone wants her friends to die. Now Sayori must make them happy and not let them die. Now she decides the destiny of this world.


_**1-st Jule 2007**_

_Hey, diary! This is my first note. Mom advised to write my thoughts down. I hope we'll be best friends!_

_Today mom and I visited the neighbours. I met a boy next door. His name was Yoshi. He seemed cute to me and my mother bought me some cookies._

_**7-th August 2007**_

_Hey again, diary! I hope you're not upset that I haven't written so long. Forgive me.__I played with Yoshi. It seems to me that we're best friends. I hope it'll always be so._

_**1-st September 2007**_

_We're in the same class with Yoshi. I'm so happy, diary. At first I was so upset, when found out what the school is, but when Yoshi's with me it won't be so sad. I'm sure._

_**1-st April 2008 **_

_My new hobby— chess. I beat Yoshi 13 times. Hehehe, he's so dummy._

_**5 -th October 2009**_

_Yoshi helps me with cleaning. Given that I have no more friends, it is kinda noble of him. He is always so cute._

_**10-th May 2011**_

_I'm sorry for so long, diary. I was so sad. It's good that Yoshi comforted me. He's the only I have. I am happy with it._

_**21-st December 2012 **_

_I've waited Yoshi on the threshold all day, but he never appeared, though he promised. I wonder if something happened. I've been calling him for hours. There's dialling, but he doesn't respond. I hope he's okay. Why didn't he come to me birthday today?_

_**1-st February 2013**_

_The holidays have passed, but my friend still pretends that he doesn't have a phone. I've already ringed his bell into pieces. Looks like he isn't in home. He isn't even in school. Where is he?_

_**19-th April 2013**_

_I haven't seen Yoshi for quite four months. It seems to me that I noticed him when I looked through the window but I'm not sure. Maybe I lost my mind._

_**1-st May 2013**_

_I really saw Yoshi, but hs closed the door in front of my face. Yoshi said he's busy. Even if it's true why didn't he say hello or come out when I ringed his bell? Why is he doing this?_

_**31-st August 2013**_

_Nothing changed since the last note. Every day of the summer I hoped that he would come. I was sitting on the porch in belief, but he wouldn't. At the evening I look at his bright room and understand. He forgot about me. He doesn't need me anymore._

_**13-th September 2013**_

_I heared a strange whisper and thought it's someone in the next room, but when I looked around the corner there was no one. That's not the first time. I constantly hear some strange voices. It's just my imagination or is there someone else in my head._

_**24-th September 2013 **_

_I met a girl on a chess tournament. Her name was Monika. She seemed terribly familliar to me. Don't know why. I've got the feeling that we met before. Although it's likely my sick imagination again. Surely she's just popular and I should have heared of her at least once.__Anyways, she isn't like whose I met before. It was a girl who lost the sense to live. I suppose we're alike in some way. I don't want her to be like that. I need to cheer her up somehow._

_**3-rd November 2013 **_

_I did it. She likes attention and I like to see her smile. Even if it's hard for me to give I don't care. I just want this to be this way forever._

_**3-rd September 2014 **_

_I joined the school garden caring team and met a cute girl. Her name was Shizuka. The girl loves plants and animals, and she also has the soft snow white hair. She's irritated when I touch them. That's so cute._

_**14-th January 2015 **_

_I met a tall girl with unusual purple coils. She is shy, but quite nice. She loves to read books and drink tea. Her name is Yuri._

_**21-st May 2015**_

_This day a sweatheart girl has come to our school. She's the shortest in my class. It's Natsuki. She thinks that manga is literature(It isn't)_

_**5-th October 2015 **_

_I was invited to the music group. I've been playing on drums for a long time, but I didn't think that I would be a part of something like that.__The main guitarist is Rey. She's kinda rude, however, I don't know why, but I liked her like a human.__The second guitarist is a guy with the glasses, Lite. He permanently stammers. Rey calls him Wise head.__Vocalist is a lady called Marina. I am a little awkward to say that, but, by the way, if that just my thoughts, then I sat it - She doesn't have left eye, right arm, only one ear can hear, and, if to judge by Rey's words, has a prosthesis left leg. Rey herself calls her Splinter.__We've a pianist too. He's a dwarf and can't speak, yet he writes good songs and he's good at piano playing. According to the obvious reasons, I don't know his name. Nobody does. Everyone, including Rey, calls him Nameless._

_**22-nd February 2016**_

_One thing happened that shocked me. I found out that Yuri cuts herself. Why did I naively presume that she's not so unhappy? Now I'm willing to take her more attention, than before. She needs me._

_**17-th April 2016 **_

_After months of silence Yuri decided to reveal at the end.__I found out that she liked her parents. She always obeyed them, but one day disobeyed.__Being not in the usual state, she started the punishment with a knife, but a little mischief has grown up to the depedency and now she can't stop. Although I trust her, but I feel she keeps something up from me, but that's not so important. I didn't oppress her._

_She hardly told me about it. The one important thing is to cheer her up. That's what I can do the best._

_**7-th October 2016**_

_I cognized something else. Natsuki was beaten by her own father.__She poured out her soul to me, unlike Yuri. Her father always was an odd person.__She narrated me about her sister, Elyssa. Everything that's left from her is manga "Parfait girls". This volume has become something special to her. It's a simple story of Minori and Alice's school days, but so vital to Natsuki. Alice reminds her about sister and Minori became her favorite character.__To my question, what happened to Elyssa herself, Natsuki didn't answer. I didn't insist. I know what I must do. To make her life more joyful. That's what I can._

_**13-th December 2016 **_

_Monika offered to create a club. I agreed without a thought. It's pleasant to me, albeit a little bit hurt to depict a fake smile at the time. Why is there more pain in it? I don't understand. Maybe, I need to fill my head in happy thoughts and get rid of bad ones in fine to take them out of my head. Thoughts of despair, get out of my head. There's no place for you.__Monika knows I have the depression and worries about me, but I don't want her to do that. I just want to make her happy. That's all I want._

_**20-th February 2017**_

_I've read the book "Bloody tears". It tells a story about a girl who lost everything and at the same time aquired much, but wasn't happy. She continued to replace memories by happy thoughts over and over again untill it got worse than it was. Right in this moment she gets the opportunity to control the space and time. As the result of her selfish actions, she lost everyone and became alone for the rest of her days. The entire world was destroyed by her._

_**22-nd March 2017 **_

_We did it. We created a club. I didn't want to see anyone exept Natsuki and Yuri in it, even if Monika insisted on the opposite.__It was my idea to put together a club of unhappy people like me. It was hard, but everyone told about their problems uncoveredly. There shouldn't be any secrets between us. Even if the club is about literature, it's not the point, the point is the people that try to make her days less sad. I know that's selfish towards Monika, but I wanted a place with someone like me.__I hope very much that Rey and Shizuka are okay, but if they're not they always can join. For all these years we became best friends. Now I can't imagine my life without them. I'm glad that they're okay at the time ar at least I want to think that way.__Concerning Yoshi... I know that I haven't written about him for a long time. In recent years we rarely saw each other. We just walk to school frequently if I don't oversleep. I don't think that he has a lot of friends. I hope he's okay.__You know, I don't say it often, but thank you, diary, that you exist. Thanks to you I can understand in my thoughts. Once again, thank you._

_**24-th May 2017 **_

_The two mounths slipped past almost unnoticed. Much fun happend during the time. Yuri complimented a club with a tea-set. I read manga "Parfait girls" with Natsuki. Yuri was readkng a book "Portrait of Markov". That's only to tell anything about it she didn't wish. Well, I didn't insist. Monika was glad to the plain conversations and she still wanted the new club members. We argued for a long time and considering that she was a deputy of debut club my failure was the question of time. We'll get more of them at the next year.__Yoshi learned about the club. He definitely thought that I agreed just for the company or something. Eh, if he knew all the truth._

_**1-st Jule 2017**_

_Today I had a strange dream. A huge red eye lied almost on the entire borizon. It looked at me. I look around and see nine people. All of them look at the eye. I got a feeling that I know them, but can't see the faces. I found out one more person, standing out of the eye. Eyeball closes and I wake up. Maybe I shouldn't drunk so much milk before to fall asleep._

_**31-st August 2017 **_

_I can't take it anymore. Can't take anymore.__Nightmares come to me every night. Blood, loop, third eye, cutting Yuri, red rose, human brain, dead Monika, pain, pale woman without pupils, Natsuki's dad, doctor Renie, blood again, dust, despair and blood, a lot of blood. From all of this I've got a headache.__I try to comfort myself, butit doesn't get any easer. I need to leave the club. Stop, I can't leave my friends. I need a replacement. Somebody has to be in the club with girls and make them happy, but who?_

_**21-st September 2017 **_

_I considered ondidates Rey and Shizuka, but neither one nor the other most likely won't be able to cope with it. I made up my mind who it would be. It's Yoshi. I'll probably have to lie for his own good._

_**22-nd September 2017 **_

_He walked right into that. It looks like he really liked. Maybe I shouldn't leave at all? The festival is approching. I can't quit at the moment like this, right? I bought the headache pills. Hope they'll aid._

_**23-rd September 2017 **_

_That's the first day for Yoshi in the club. Everyone wrote poems. I liked everyone's. To my surprise, Yoshi was able to impress Monika with his one. Moreover, he spent with her most of the time._

_**24-th September 2017**_

_Yoshi impressed Monika again. She seems embarrassed. And he spent all time with her once more. Not that I'm jealous, but shouldn't he take a little time to Natsuki or Yuri, for example? I even wanted to leave just not to see this sweet couple together. And why did I blurt out to Yoshi that I might go away? Foolie._

_**25-th September 2017 **_

_Pills don't help. The pain don't go away. Nightmares don't stop. The pain is unbearable. Only death can stop this. I saved a loop for this case. I said Monika what I'm going to do. Leaving, I heard her cry: «Why did I do this? Why?»— mumbled she to herself. Typical Monika. She always blamed herself. This is not your fault, Monika. I'm sorry, but it'll be better for everyone. Farewell forever._

_**27-th September 2017 **_

_I already have to pass out, but I am still here. Why? Even the fact I confessed Sayori in depressin changed nothing. Monika is in his home. I should be happy for her but instead I envy. Now I understand. I loved Yoshi the whole time. Before I get a loop, I need to know if he has feelings for me too. I'll write, when I find out, diary._

_*** **_

_No... my feelings weren't reciprocal. Yoshi never loved me. What a shame, but I hoped that...__Farewell, diary. We'll never see each other again..._

_*** **_

_**27-th November 2017**_

_... Hello, diary… Long time no see. I'm not dead. Yoshi saved me. I was so mad then. I yelled at him in vain.__I met a girl at the festival. Her name was Koheru. She took me into mental home where I spent time for a coupleof months.__Koheru agreed to join the club and promised to look after everyone. I am grateful to her.__I had much time to think things over and I decided not to die. My friends need me. I will no longer be selfish.__When doctor Renie determined me healthy, he wrote me out from mental hospital. I gof rid of depression. It gives me the strength that I am able to change something.__Farewell, dear diary, thank you for everything, but I don't need you anymore!_

Having written down the last line, Sayori throws a diary into the fire without a thought.

«It's time to forget the past. There is no old Sayori. It's time to write a new story.»

The girl was looking at the fire for a long time, watching the pages flame and turn to ashes.


End file.
